Even with my Spanish background, I started out speaking just enough to get me into trouble! The following are some of my favorite language bloopers:
We go to a chronological Bible Study at our landlord’s house every Friday night. After a few weeks, I thought it would be nice to have a little snack afterwards (this gives more insight into American “Church” culture). I attempted to make some oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. The cookie sheet I used to cook them on was a little bent, so they turned into a glob in the corner of the pan. I decided to go with it and make cookie bars instead. Well… I’m still learning Celsius and the temperature was a little cool, so the center was a bit gooey. When everyone ate them, my landlord announced that I should cook more. I interpreted it as I needed to cook the cookies more, not that I need to cook more often.
One evening as we were going home, our landlord said he would see us tomorrow, if God wants (their version of Lord willing). Trying to make a joke, I said I would bring him the rent money tomorrow, if God wants. He thought I didn’t understand how to use the phrase and began to explain the passage in the Bible that says, “Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go into this or that town and spend a year there and do business and make a profit.’ You do not know about tomorrow. What is your life like? For you are a puff of smoke that appears for a short time and then vanishes. You ought to say instead, ‘If the Lord is willing, then we will live and do this or that.’. – James 4:13-15. We had a good laugh later that evening with his son and wife when I relayed the story. They thought I was very funny!
I have a great capacity to need words that sound very close to inappropriate comments and even swear words (who knew how different “piloto” and “pilota” could be…). The mistakes I usually make are anatomy related, if you know what I mean. I don’t know how many times I’ve been talking in our neighbors’ kitchen over coffee and they start giggling, hoping I won’t notice. My response is always, “OK, what did I say this time!”
For the first few weeks, whenever I needed to ask for a place to nurse Jackson, instead of saying he needed to nurse, I said that I needed to nurse.
I hope you enjoyed a good laugh at my expense!
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