NTM

Weddings in Inaru are in the process of change. Traditionally, a girl was chosen to marry a certain man when she was 8 or 9 years old and then when she had her first period they would be married. That system went by the wayside about 30 years ago, and up until the present the Inarus have waited until a girl had her first period to choose who would be her husband. In the last couple years this has also changed due to outside influence. Now many of the Inaru girls are waiting for a couple years after their first period before they get married.

In Inaru, a girl does have a say in whom she wants to marry. Generally, if she likes a guy and her parents and uncles also like him, then the marriage will go ahead. If, however, her parents and uncles don’t approve of the match they will discipline her to make her change her mind or they will force her to marry someone else or they will ask a ridiculously high bride price from her favorite man. As you can see, marriages are not always a joyous, happy time in Inaru. There have been instances of a girl overriding her parent’s decision when she is forced to marry against her wishes. She will refuse to sleep with her husband until he gets fed up and gives her back to her parents.

Typically, when a girl has said she likes a boy, there will be a village meeting and if her parents are in agreement then they will state a bride price and they will be officially engaged. During the engagement, the groom is supposed to do lots of work to help his future in-laws and prove that he will be a good son-in-law that will look after them when they get old. The groom and his family will get together an initial "down payment" and then the wedding ceremony will take place. The groom’s clan and and the bride’s clan will line up, the groom’s clan will give money, and then the two clans will shake hands and also the bride and groom will shake each other’s hand. That’s it. No fancy dresses or rituals. After the couple is married, they will go to live with the bride’s parents and will continue to work and raise money to pay off the remainder of the bride price. After the bride price is fully paid, the couple will go live with the groom’s family. After the couple has started to have children, they will build a house of their own.