We are really doing it! After a difficult week of "last time to hang out and..." we are actually leaving! It is bittersweet but we are definitely excited for what lies ahead. We wouldn't recommend that anyone ever do what we are doing! It is too hard! I was reflecting on this yesterday, some might call it moping, or whining, but I call it "reflecting." The Lord ecncouraged me as I "reflected" on how difficult this is, and on how much uncertainty lies ahead with memories of Paul floating in the open sea after being shipwrecked.
Now, this isn't normally an encouragement to a new missionary who sees how God's missionary to the Gentile world lived. However, I was encouraged by one aspect: Paul's sense of urgency. God reminded me that life isn't Super Mario Bros. where you get multiple lives to try new things. We get one life, and one life only. How do we want to live it? For us, or for God? If our lives are marked with hardship, who cares!? Life isn't about comfort, but growth, and reaching a lost and dying world with a message that can give them real life. Is there ever a cost too great? Would I regret having spent my life struggling to speed the spread of the Gospel?
Once my perspective shifted, I had a little more "pep in my step", as I realized that I will never regret following where God leads us. I would regret it forever if I backed out or stooped to do something else that God has not planned for us to do. Now that my pity party is over, we can leave, and we will leave tonight.
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